It took all my strength to get up that morning. Another Sunday, and another miserable attempt to wear a smile hoping no one would notice my deception. All I wanted was to be alone, but going to church is the polar opposite. Harry’s invisible cloak would have been a great ally. But, with no such cloak available, I had to do my best to just make it through the morning. Then, I reasoned, I could go home and it would be all over. Sadly, however, all my energy was sucked dry by the end of the sermon. I lost it. I ran out of church crying.

I sat on the hood on my hot car, sobbing for a reason I did not know. A friend caught word that I left and came to sit with me. He spoke very little, prayed with me, and sat quietly as I wept – it was just what I needed.

The Big Lie

One lie you will constantly face when battling depression is that being alone is the solution for your troubles. Sure, time alone can be healthy and fruitful. But, too much time alone is bitter poison for the simple reason that humans are relational beings. We need people in order to overcome depression and anxiety. We also need people to thrive in our crafts. Here are four reasons why we need people in seasons of depression and anxiety:

1. You can better face the thugs with allies by your side.

Fights were common when I was in high school. The offer to meet a bully “after school” was a death threat for at least one party. We all knew that you can face a thug best when you have other thugs by your side. Well, friend, depression and anxiety are not always your allies. Sometimes they want your lunch money and your home address. They will kick you around until you give in to their requests. Depression and anxiety are can be devious thugs, so bring reliable friends to the fight week by week. Here’s what the Bible says on this topic:

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! …. And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12

Recall from our previous blog that anxiety and depression are not always bad. The implication, however, is that they are not always a good either. Consider a hammer: its value is arbitrary, but how it is swung can yield positive or negative results. Depression and anxiety have the capacity to hit us with a negative swing. That’s why having a circle of friends to encourage us is crucial.

2. We need people because loneliness fuels depression and anxiety.

Any prideful thug knows he can overtake you if you are alone. Depression and anxiety are no different. You will hear things like, “stay home” and “no one cares.” You will feel like staying in bed instead of meeting with a friend for coffee. You will feel like staying back instead of going to dinner with friends. Don’t listen to these voices. Be with people and expose the mofia who keep knocking on your door. When they see more people around you, they will have less power to steal your wallet.

3. There are some caves too perilous to climb out of alone.

Do you remember the Thai soccer team who got stuck in a cave recently? It was supposed to be a day-trip, but it lasted for weeks instead. It is said that it takes a village. Well, it took people from across the world to rescue them. There will be times when facing depression is beyond your expertise to navigate. You need friends, counselors, and others to pull you out of this cave. Call out for assistance and accept helping hands. You will thank yourself later.

4. Creativity is snuffed where friends are nowhere to be found.

Whenever I face a design challenge, I have two choices: freak out, or be tactful. Honestly, facing artistic challenges is frightening. Sometimes I think that a failed attempt means that I am a failure. I am anxious to prove myself and show that I am not an imposter. What about you? It is much easier to activate American self-reliance than to ask for help. Yet, one plus one equals two – does it not? You are much better off surrounding yourself with others than combating challenges solo. So, one of the most tactful approach to design challenges is to fuse your energy with others. I design my best after researching and observing the artwork of other people. A creative person, therefore, cannot maximize their potential by being alone – we need people.

At Exchange Church, the leaders often say that “you are needy and needed.” In this way, know that your need for others is not to suggest you are helpless and unhelpful. In fact, there are many others who need you as well. As others give you their time, you also should give your time to others. If there is any hope with anxiety and depression, it will certainly include the presence of others. What steps can you take this week to connect with others to face the thugs at your door?