It is commonly said that women are like spaghetti and men are like waffles. While I detest stereotypes, I do love planning and organizing. I love when all the ducks are in a row, and it irks me when plans are breached. Yet, a core feature of discipleship is that it is a dynamic process led by the Holy Spirit. We can plan all we want, but we must always yield to God’s directions (see Acts 16:6-10). This being said, we should always hold our plans loosely and be willing to adjust as needed. In Creat-Moteo’s summer discipleship group, I am at a point where I may need to tweak my commitments for the sake of my family and my sanity. Below are two thoughts on adjusting discipleship plans for better outcomes:

1. A Yes is Behind Every No.

America is no doubt a high-paced and overstuffed culture. One crippling flaw driving this overfilling is a desire to please others. I want to please God, my wife, my managers, my prospective clients, and even our church’s staff. The worst part is that the more people I try to please, the less margin I leave for myself to take Sabbath and rest. Creat-Moteo’s summer discipleship group currently meets for Bible study and Creative Breakouts each once a week. This model is taking up a lot of time I could be using for needed rest and time with my wife, though changing our format could let my disciples down. Yet, if I say “no” to this model, I could say yes to other vital things like rest and quality family time. I am honestly most effective for Jesus when I am well rested. Additionally, I best model Jesus’ love for his bride when I spend quality time with my own.

2. It’s Okay to Tweak When You Can’t Make Ends Meet.

Saying “no” may not always mean slamming the door shut. Discipleship is good, rest is good, and family time is good. We may not be able to give each of these 100% of our energy, but we also may not need to give some of them 0%. Determine what things your no is saying yes to, and then tweak the amount of attention you give to other more important things. In Creat-Moteo’s summer discipleship group, we have discussed alternating our Bible studies and Creative Breakouts. In this new model, we could meet for Bible study one week, Creative Breakouts the following week, and then repeat the cycle. It will be a slower pace, but tweaking our format may just help us say yes to the right things and in the right measure.

If you are like me, you may not like changing plans or appearing to be too weak to meet your commitments. Yet, as we have seen in this post, tweaking discipleship plans may actually help you maximize your effectiveness in ministry. For myself, adjusting Creat-Moteo’s current discipleship format may allow for more rest and more time to spend with my wife. For this reason, do not be afraid to let the Holy Spirit lead healthy change processes in your discipling groups. This is certainly what it looks like to live life honestly among one another.

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