I woke up that day in a fog. My emotions were confusing – I felt angry, sad, and desperate to run away. I could not sit still in church. People bothered me. I hurt to smile. I just want to go home. Yet, when I did eventually come home, all I wanted to do is leave because I needed space. So I left, not sure where I was headed. I listened to music and prayed as I sat in my car at a local park. Yet, the tears were inevitable, so I drove home. I sat on my couch and wept for a whole hour on my wife’s shoulders. This was the day I knew I needed help.

A Persistent Foe

If you are like me, depression feels like a persistent foe positioned around nearly every corner. For so long, I thought feeling frequently sad was just how life was. My journals are full of depression’s grip. On February 7, 2013, I wrote, “What is up with the chaos in my mind? …. God, I am simply sick of being sick and tired …. I am fed up with this life. It’s too confusing …. Here, God, I quit.” On June 29, 2018, over five years later, I found myself in a similar bout: “This morning, my heart feels tired and sad …. I just want to crawl back in bed and sleep. Oh Lord, this is such a struggle.”

Have you ever experienced sadness like this? Are you overcome by anxiety so much that it is hard to work and even scarier to sleep? If I just described your life, this blog series is for you. I understand, at least in part, the giants you are wrestling with and I want us both to experience light in the thick darkness we often face.

Finding healing is a journey, but we should never take for granted the lessons we will learn along the way. Here are three lessons that I have learned so far about my anxiety and depression. I hope they are helpful to you as well.

1. You are not crazy.

There are days I feel like I am going crazy. The pain of depression is hard enough, let alone the nagging wonder of whether or not you should check-in to a mental hospital. Please know that there are many folks who wrestle with this beast just like you do. Don’t believe the stigma that if you visit a counselor you are somehow crazy. I have heard of even non-depressed people visiting counselors. You are not the only one on Depression Island. Louie Giglio, in Putting an “X” Through Anxiety, dedicates an entire chapter to this topic. I highly suggest you get a copy of his short book.

2. Get help now.

There are many stages and types of depression, all requiring unique treatment. While Giglio wants you to know that you are not crazy, he reminds his readers that, “if you need help, get help” (p. 56). To kick start you efforts, consider the following advocates: (1) Jesus; (2) a medical professional; (3) a friend; and (4) a mentor. Get help today as fast as you can – it’s not too late.

3. Become an expert on your giant.

I suggest you become an expert on whatever it is that you are facing. Regarding anxiety, Giglio instructs us to, “Name it. Say it out loud. And cast it on Jesus” (p. 32). As much as you can, don’t let your depression and anxiety be a nameless fog. Breathe deep and pray about what you are feeling. Identify your giant’s name. Learn about where it came from and what it hopes to do with you. Here are some books I found helpful this summer:

If you don’t know what you are facing, please talk with a mental health professional as soon as possible. They can help you find a good course of treatment.

When depression and anxiety cast their long shadows, get help and learn as much as you can about what you are facing. You are not alone in this fight; I am cheering for you.